Day Two: Leap and Write, I did both and lived to tell the story! How do you take a leap to make a change or write a book?
It’s 9:00, I’m meeting my commitment. Yay Italy! (how do you spell it? Yay, yeah, yea …) the one that means Yippee, Oh Boy, Can’t wait.
So, starting with feelings and my heart (reminder to self and you, to check in with your true self). I was terrified last night after texting my roommate that it was time for a change. You texted him? Yep. You see he works really weird hours so I felt it best to send him a text, let him have time to digest and then we could talk about it.
This is what came to me as I was typing:
Hey, I got a message loud and clear this weekend to open up to some new opportunities including doing my spiritual coaching again, but bigger. And I’m happy to keep helping you with (your work) as this grows. It’s important I have my own space so I’d want to use your room for my clients and other work so could you start putting out some feelers to room somewhere else? Like by Nov 1st? We’ll still be connected of course, just not under the same roof. And I’m trusting the funding support will come through elsewhere. Scary, but it seems Spirit is asking me to leap~ So here I go. And I’m knowing there must be a great opportunity for you too. Maybe (name of secret crush) will take you in!! Xoxo
His response: Ouch.
My response: (stomach pain, oh God, what have I done?)
An hour later, his response: Will do
Mine: (Too late to change my mind now. Can I make up the money he contributes?)
Little mind: This is risky, what have you done?
Higher Mind: Are you kidding! There are so many EASY ways you can make that amount and more. You have no idea what great things can come from opening this up, you can make 2, 3, and 4 X the amount doing something you love. And don’t worry what it is. Just trust (Which of course I did on an off for hours, from panic to trust, from constriction to openness)
And he texts: So, I called my friend … It’s 4 minutes from office and 12 minutes from (secret crush). Like you said, new opportunities.
Oh, I was so happy and relieved. Phew!
I text: Fantastic!
He replies: He told me to pray about it and he and his wife will do the same. He said no pressure, no rush.
And still I went from panic to relaxation over the next several hours. So what did I do with those feelings? I texted or called people I knew would give me support and encouragement. I told myself to sit with the feeling. To be okay in the not knowing. To think about a few exciting avenues I could explore. And then I was reminded, from higher consciousness that I may not even be able to imagine what is going to happen. It could be so beyond my wildest dreams. To just allow and not “do” anything.
Ok, got it.
How many times do we spring into action when faced with a strong emotion? Even if that action is to crawl into bed and pull up the covers. Which I have done many a time and totally understand when it’s a great thing to rest, isolate, be just with your self. And you may worry; will I ever get out of bed? You know, you will. Something will just lift you out of bed. It may be your stomach or bladder, but you will rise.
I busied myself with editing my day one of the 90 days blog and find pictures. That will take some time and bring up memories.
Just to be clear, my Day One blog recalling my Barbie memory and connection to my ongoing life lesson of giving myself away, that was a BIG, YUGE ahha for me. Not that I didn’t know I had given myself away, just that I hadn’t realized how early it started. What can start as compassionate action can be transmuted into harmful self-sacrifice. Remember you are not less valuable than another. When someone wants you to do something, overtly or covertly (especially if they are CIA) you can say/think to yourself, “What in this is good for me, also?” And if you get lots of praise and reinforcement when you are generous, even to the point of harming yourself, you may get into a habit of this.
At some point I thought about this deeply. How could God/Universe think others are more important than me? That’s ridiculous. We all have equal value, worth, etc. That self-care and self-love thing can be a life long journey. One tip: When faced with a decision, ask yourself, “What would someone who loves themselves do?” Or ask yourself, “What would I want my child (or loved one) to do in this exact situation.” Easier when you are imaging someone else, until you get practiced. (Which I am still working on, but WAY better).
It’s funny (not funny ha ha, but funny), when I was REALLY sick in the hospital many moons ago, on life support with a teeny-tiny chance of surviving (spoiler alert: I did), I heard this voice say to me, “If you only loved yourself as much as you love children, you’d be fine.” So true.
My heart just sings when I am around children, or think of them, or empower them or whatever. They are so full of light and love! That’s why one of my favorite things to do is write children’s books, read to them and visit classrooms. Have you checked out my book? Please do. It’s called Feeling Loved, A Ted. E Bear Story.
I carried this story inside me for years before I took pen to paper (Hint, hint, start writing!). This is how it unfolded …
I was in a really passionate, yet painful, (soul lesson) relationship with a very handsome man. We were having trouble so I signed us up for a workshop teaching Harville Hendrix’s work, Imago Therapy, or you may know his books, Keeping the Love you Have, or Getting the Love you Want. Well, in the workshop one of the exercises was to write a three column page about your partner’s love, what feels good to you.
In the first column you write what they used to do that made you feel loved, in the middle column you write what they currently do that makes you feel loved and in the third column you write what you wish they would do in the future to make you feel loved.
So, it might look like this:
1-I loved it when you wrote love notes to me and I would wake up and read them.
2-I love when you walk in the door and give me a big hug and kiss.
3-I would love it if you would run a bubble bath for me.
This is way better that when you get into a fight and say, “You never do this anymore!” So, my handsome man and I did the exercise and learned a whole lot about one another, especially the third column of your secret wishes. The next step was to put this list of the items in a place where your partner can pull one out and take action!
Since life is always talking to you, my daughter Lily and I were visiting one of my best friends Suzy who lives in Colorado. As usual, we did or normal bed time routine of reading together, but Lily was having trouble falling asleep. Phase two of that is gently running my fingers along the side of her face, from her forehead, by her eye, across her cheek to her chin and back again. Then she said, “Mommy when you do that, I feel loved.” This nearly knocked me off the bed! (She’s always one step ahead of me!)
I began thinking of all the ways kids might feel loved by a parent: When they go ice skating together, reading a book, helping with homework, singing songs … I began writing them down. As I shared this with a friend she said, have you heard of the Five Love Languages? I hadn’t. Well, apparently good ideas are plentiful and universal.
I began visualizing a family of 5 bears who would all be very different. They have the same mom, but feel loved in many different ways. Some by spending time together, others by treats, or compliments, etc. I then created the 5 bear personalities and had them physically represent differing ethnicities, hair color, eye color, etc. So kids could find themselves in the bears.
But, then I took it a step further. Have the bears realize that when they think about what makes them feel loved (i.e. happy thoughts, happy stories) they feel better. AND, if you understood what made someone else feel loved (the Imago exercise) you can do that and make the world a little better. So, that’s my book, Feeling Loved, A Ted E. Bear Story (E stands for everything you ever wanted in a Cubbie Bear.)
Sounds easy to write, right? It was, but took a while. I say it took 5 years, and 5 days and 5 minutes. I held the story in me for 5 years. Then one day, within 5 minutes I was all of a sudden inspired to write it down. So I sat down and wrote it over 5 days. So, when it’s time it’s time. (That is not a suggestion to wait 5 years, I encourage you to write whatever you want whenever you want, but if you do it as a 90 day challenge like I am doing now, imagine what might come from that?)
And here’s the thing about book writing. Do it for you. I was really clear that even if this book only helped one child, it would be worth it. And that one child could be me! (And it was. Plus some more, thankfully!)
Getting in touch with what you love, what makes you feel loved, that gets you into a high vibration. That sparks creativity and possibility. Detach from the outcome of writing. It doesn’t have to be a bestselling book (but it could be), it doesn’t have to change lives (but it could), it doesn’t even have to change your life (but it will). Just write.
Here’s the crazy thing about me writing the book. I’m a very seasoned public relations and media relations expert (seasoned is code for old). I have promoted many authors, actors and leaders over many years, Carl Sagan, Karen Nussbaum (who wrote 9 to 5), Jessie Jackson, President Jimmy Carter, Senator Alan Cranston, Nelson Mandela’s family, Bishop Tutu, President Gorbachev, and President Kim Dae Jung (that last one is a crazy story for another blog, you’ll love it!) I intuitively know how to find the message that sells, or gets your on TV or radio or changes the world. It’s an inborn thing, I take zero credit. (Some of it comes from my secret weapon I’ll share later).
But when promoting myself? I was at a loss. I just couldn’t do it. As much as I loved my book, I wasn’t comfortable picking up the phone and doing for myself what I had done for so many others (that core life lesson of self care rearing its ugly/beautiful head again!).
So, I published the book, shared it with family and friends, wrote about it on my blog and reached out to a few classrooms and did some book readings and signings. I could have done more, but I was okay with at least birthing the book. (Or I was avoiding the task of self promotion or hiring someone). I still imagine that some day (maybe today) I’ll find an enthusiastic, skilled marketing person who would love to promote Feeling Loved. It seems a little closer to reality, especially now as I am writing my sequel to Feeling Loved that deals with racism and our environment. The connection was even a surprise to me (but, the hint is Polar Bears.)
So, whatever your life story, share it. Write it down. It WILL help someone, even if that someone is just you. And that would be fantastic because you and your story are important. We need to share who we are, and our gifts, because we’re all in this together. We’re connected. What you do matters to me and many others.
You may need to take a leap, like I did, without knowing the outcome. I trust that you will be supported in your leap and your writing. And even more, I know how important you are. Do you? If you get caught up in the “am I important?” part, just ask yourself, how could my story help someone else? That might do the trick. Start writing (again, I’m happy to help coach you personally on this goal).
This is Bet E. Bear, who really loves herself, my hero!
Oh my goodness, it’s actually past 10, I completed Day Two of my 90 day Commitment. Thanks for hanging in there with me. Did you set your commitment? I dare you!
Tanti auguri (best wishes),
Your Intentional (Scared but Leaping Anyway) Co-Creator
PR Expert and Author of Feeling Loved, A Ted E. Bear Story
P.S. I LOVED playing cards when I was a kid, still do. So, I got these cards, made too. This is a fun site, you can make things with your products and logos, Zazzle.com