Many of my life coaching clients come to me, especially around the New Year, with issues around MONEY (or work). Big stress. And we have lots of ideas, beliefs and thoughts around these concepts.
What is your immediate reaction to the word money? Is it positive or negative? It’s important to note. The word money tends to bring up a lot of negative thoughts, memories and beliefs. Questioning these ideas is a great first step.
Recently I was working with a client facing a money issue you are likely to understand. She wanted to make more money. But, she had a long held belief that she was not good with money. She said she had never been good with money, even as a kid. At the time of our coaching session, she was looking for work and struggling with finding the right employment. As we delved into these issues a few things quickly became clear. Perhaps what we uncovered can help you with your money issues.
As a spiritually attuned life coach, I could feel that her energy around money was like Pigpen (from The Peanuts cartoon) … all those balls of dust around her. It followed her around everywhere she went.
The reason for this became immediately clear when I asked her, “What would you love to do for work?” She couldn’t answer. She was at a loss, confused and unclear. It’s understandable, it is hard to see clearly through all that pig pen dust.
The next question I asked was, “What gifts/services do you best provide?” Then, she could come up with a few items. But not many. No wonder if was hard to make money!
You see, income/money is related to service. In our world, we get money from the goods or services we provide. It has nothing to do with our “real value” or worthiness. (Think about all the amazingly valuable, underpaid teachers!) It’s about what the market will bear. Underneath that of course, may be our limited belief about our value. You see, if we undervalue our ability to provide goods or services, money may elude us.
So, what do YOU believe about your you or your value? Often it includes some negatives. But, what you believe about yourself may not be true. In fact, it probably isn’t. Let’s just question it. Ask yourself, is this true? Then, see if you can come up with three examples of it being NOT true.
Let’s say you believe you’re a failure? Is that true? Come up with three examples of where you are NOT a failure. List three things you do well or have done well in the past.
You can also cut to the chase as ask yourself, “Is anyone in the universe a failure?” No. So why would you be the only person on EARTH who is, a failure? Or worthless, or non-deserving. Or beyond hope. We have all “failed” at something, but we’re not, you are not, a failure.
You see, just because you believe a negative thought about yourself, it doesn’t make it true. It just makes it a belief you have about yourself. Not FACT. You have a TON of thoughts every minute of every day. It’s not the thought that is the problem, it’s the BELIEF about the thought that causes a problem. The fact that you believe this negative thought is what is stopping you. (From making more money, having more love, having self-esteem, etc.)
People spend years trying to figure out WHY they believe a negative thought, about self, money, work, love, etc. You can spend years going down that never ending rabbit hole. The WHY hole. Better to question the validity of the thought. Is it absolutely true? Disprove it and then just laugh off those old negative or limiting thoughts that keep coming up. Thanks for that thought, but I no longer believe that one!
Back to money. Say you believe you’re bad with money. Is that true? Let’s say you think it is true. How so, give examples? I don’t balance my checkbook, I spend more than I make, etc. So if those examples are facts would you like to change that about yourself? Are there ways of solving this problem? If yes, see what ideas come to you to deal with this “current” belief and habits. (You could take a course in budgeting, hire a financial trainer, hire an accountant, hire a life coach!!).
Conversely, ask yourself the opposite of the belief, i.e., what are ways I am good with money? Did you make any money this year, year’s past, do you make enough money to feed yourself, house yourself, help another, etc. I bet there are examples where you are good with money. And if there are areas in which you’d like to improve, go for it!
Let’s say you believe you’ll never make enough money to live on, or reach a certain financial goal? Is that true? Well, you cannot predict the future with 100% accuracy so it’s probably not true. And what’s enough? But let’s look back, how often have you made enough money to live on? In fact, right now if you’re reading this, you are alive, so apparently the money you made or did not make was enough to live on. Question these thoughts about money and self. (And what do you imagine you would “get” or feel if you met that goal? Secure, valuable, proud, free?)
Some people say a lack of money is tied to your self-esteem or self-worth, which can have some validity, but maybe not. Again, question the belief. Is that a fact? Is that really WHY you aren’t making “enough money.” Whether or not it’s true that your self-esteem is tied to your money making, you can still choose to work on (or question) the issue of self-esteem. (There are lots of wealthy people who don’t really like themselves!)
So, what can you do to address your self-esteem? Lots! Ask friends to send you a list of three or more positive attributes/talents you have. (Blame it on me, tell them a life coach gave you this as an assignment.) Also, you can list every attribute YOU can think of. Start simple. I’m kind to my dogs. I help my neighbor. I love to read. I am interested in self-improvement, I find it easy and fun to do XYZ, etc.
Still want to make more money? Well, what are you good at, naturally? If you were with a group of ten friends, what could you do better than most of them? Speak in public, organize, provide comfort, listen, make people laugh, etc. You’re beginning to discover what gifts/talents you have that someone would pay for! Or what would you like to learn to be good at, that’s a possibility too!
Finally, stop trying to make money and start focusing on being of service. When you are willing to share your gifts and talents to help someone (personally or professionally) you are an magnet to money. You have something people will pay for! We all pay for things we want or need.
If I need someone to pay my vendors, I will pay someone to provide that service. If I need a marketer, an administrator, a driver, etc., I will pay for that SERVICE. I don’t pay you because you need money, I pay you because I need your service. I don’t pay you because you’re a good person, I pay you because you provide a need or want.
For many on the spiritual path we think we must be a healer, or life coach, massage therapist, author, etc. And perhaps that is something we wish to pursue and would find great joy and money in it. But other “worlds” need our energy too. What if every light worker and spiritual worker started working in politics or community leadership? What if we flooded the educational arena? Hopefully you see what I’m getting at. Spiritually driven folks are needed everywhere. Our service is appreciated and compensated for in many careers.
Who you are and what you can provide can be shared in a myriad of ways and in numerous and diverse settings. Your gifts and talents are uniquely yours and are of great value.
Explore your beliefs about yourself, question them. Remember who you really are (and ask others to remind you for when you forget.). Then go out and serve. The money will follow.
Questions you can ask yourself:
What would I love to do for work/money?
What do I do better than most people?
What do I believe negatively about myself (or money)? And, more importantly, is it true?
(Find examples where the negatives are NOT true.)
What are three or more of my positive attributes/talents?
What goods or services can I provide that people want or need?
What would I LOVE to do even if I didn’t get paid to do it?
Ask a life coach to support you in living your best life (I’m HAPPY to help!)
Make this a year of questioning your thoughts, generously sharing your gifts and talents, and remembering how truly fabulous you are!